What you feed, grows. What you focus on becomes your reality. If you want to change your reality, you must first change your focus.

What you focus on affects your life, your relationships, your environment, and the world. Sound dramatic? I’ll explain why it’s not. I’ll also offer different ways of evaluating how you’re spending your most valuable currency (your focus), and suggest various ways to upgrade this. Some of these may surprise you.

The considerations are complex, but the solutions are simple. Come join me.

Find me on Facebook and Instagram @the_nativist

Do you feel emotions intensely? Struggle thinking/speaking on the spot? Feel affected by loud sounds/smells/etc? Maybe you know someone who does/is.

I am on a crusade. My cause? To rebrand sensitivity. I aim to spotlight how being sensitive benefits ourselves, others, and the whole wide world. Let's make "You're so sensitive" a compliment, not an insult.

In this episode, I explain what it means to be a highly-sensitive person, and how that’s reflected in our physiology. I reference fascinating studies showing it’s not just nature vs. nature: we were born this way, baby! I share a short quiz to guide you in assessing if you/people you know could qualify as highly sensitive.

I offer new ways of viewing highly-sensitive people, some [all?] of which may be a relief to you, if you’re sensitive.

Love you. Mean it.

Book referenced: Quiet: The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking by Susan Cain (HIGHLY RECOMMEND everyone read this - not just if you’re sensitive)

Connect with me on Facebook and Instagram @the_nativist

Part of being a functional, happy, successful, ALIVE human is analyzing, anticipating, and, planning. Part of being a miserable, sad, resentful human is having unmet expectations. So…how do we encourage the former, not the latter? What’s the key ingredient?

Expectations (did you expect me to say that?).

In this episode, I talk about the sneaky ways expectations can screw with your health, success, and happiness - and how to avoid that.

Love you. Mean it.

-w-

Find me on Facebook and Instagram @the_nativist

In a world of worthy causes, the indigenous voice is often drowned out. This series aims to illuminate it.

If you're interested at all in being a more informed and respectful human, this is a goldmine. Elise Blaser returns to share with us her indigenous perspective from a cultural, historical, and personal standpoint. She tells us about growing up in both Canada and the US while having both native and Caucasian blood. She outlines common disparities and misconceptions surrounding indigenous culture and people, and ways in which we could unwittingly be disrespecting those cultures (some may surprise you!). She highlights her favorite cultural aspects, and how non-natives can partake without disrespecting. We reference the @illuminative Instagram post (see below) distinguishing between appreciation and appropriation, citing concrete guidelines and frequently asked questions (like if it's okay to wear moccasins or smudge).

Rather than preachy and critical, this conversation is lighthearted yet deep, educational yet engaging, and fun yet reverent. And critically important.

You can find Elise on Instagram @eliselilaa

Illuminatives

Instagram post from March 31, 2021

This series has been a desire of mine for awhile now.

Though widespread, addiction is still stigmatized, hushed, shamed, and (I feel) generally misunderstood.

But it affects all of us (whether you realize it or not) directly and indirectly. So let’s talk about it.

Dr. Gabor Maté, MD, is known for his unique perspective on addiction, child development and trauma, and how this stress manifests in the body, and he has written several related books. While on The Goop Podcast (episode from 3/26/2019 titled How Does Childhood Stress Manifest in Adulthood?), Dr. Maté provided a nutshell definition:

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”Addiction is manifested in any behavior in which a person finds temporary relief and pleasure and therefore craves, but suffers negative consequences as a result of, and cannot give up despite negative consequences.”

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It could be addiction to pornography, sex, food, relationships, video gaming…or even to work and profit.

Dr. Maté notes when he gives this talk to any group of 800-1000 people and asks how many present by that definition have an addiction, virtually everyone will raise their hand.

Wow. Think about that.

Most of us are addicted to something (whether we realize/acknowledge it or not).  

Dr. Maté continues on to remark on how we judge those with addictions of which we don’t approve. We’ve arbitrarily decided which addictions are respectable and which are not. For example: We judge heroin addicts more than cigarette smokers, which is interesting because from a health standpoint, cigarettes are worse for you than heroin (unless you overdose on heroin). 

There are multiple manifestations, experiences, and contributing factors regarding addiction. This series is to normalize this conversation. To offer various perspectives and angles, from addicts and from those who love them. These views/experiences may differ from your own. Good. I hope so.

This is part of The Nativist’s broader purpose of sharing stories and views, to connect to ourselves and others; to nurture empathy and inspire us to look outside our personal experience and perspective, so we may learn, grow, understand, and live more fully.

In this episode, Reagan Garrett candidly shares her story of having a spouse addicted to porn. As a new mom and wife at the tender age of 17, Reagan tells us how she discovered the addiction, and what she did with that information. She speaks on her initial and subsequent reactions, her thoughts, her coping methods, her recommendations, and her current views on the matter.

She inspires me.

(Please excuse the poor audio quality on this episode. It’s worth it.)

If you’d like to connect with Reagan to share/relate to your own experience, you may find her on Instagram @reagang_

THANK YOU for caring. This matters.

In the second episode exploring discrimination, I talk with Akilah Lacey, a police officer who offers a unique and valuable perspective on his experiences and outlook on discrimination as a law enforcement officer and member of a biracial marriage in a predominantly white, conservative community.

Akilah describes what it was like transitioning from Watts to Orange County to Pocatello, Idaho, and how he bridges the gap while straddling two worlds in this current charged climate. We discuss the importance of awareness, perspective, open mindedness, communication, and empathy. We highlight the importance of listening to learn and understand, and the necessity of taking accountability for our actions.