THE WAY YOU MAKE ME FEEL
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
“Nobody is superior, nobody is inferior, but nobody is equal either. People are simply unique, incomparable. You are you, I am I.”
This world has some incredible people in it. People with impressive achievements and accolades. People with seemingly endless talent, drive, energy, resources, skill, courage.
When you encounter people like this, sometimes you can't help but reflect on your own achievements. You start comparing yourself, which we all know can be the kiss of death to contentment and gratitude. That comparison shiz ain't good.
Here's an angle for your consideration. Something to ponder when you're feeling down, unaccomplished...you know, like a lahuuu-suh-herrrr (translation: loser). It's not about what you've achieved/accomplished/acquired. IT'S ABOUT THE EFFECT YOU HAVE ON OTHERS.
Think about the greatest, most valuable and meaningful people in your life. The MVPs in your life. I'm willing to bet the criteria you used to determine their value in your life had nada to do with their yearly income, or Instagram followers, or degrees, or bad ass trips to China (hopefully...).
“No matter how educated, talented, rich, or cool you believe you are, how you treat people ultimately tells all. Integrity is everything.”
The most impactful people are the ones who lift you up/inspire you/support you. Or just friggin' MAKE YOU LAUGH. Let's say you're out with some friends and meet two people. One is a zillionaire, owns real estate all over the world, travels internationally on the monthly, has a Harvard degree, wrote five New York Times bestsellers, and runs a thriving non-profit to halt human trafficking. This person is nice enough, but more interested in telling you allll about how cool they are, with no interest in hearing about you. Cool story, bro. The other individual works in IT, has never traveled outside the US, yet is engaging, funny, kind, and genuinely interested in what you have to say. Which one are you going to want to keep talking to? The latter one, right?
Same with other people in your life. The people you want to hang around with and invite to a party are those who make you feel good, not inferior/bored/bummed/betrayed/etc. It matters far more how you treat people, than how accomplished/cool/successful you are. Besides - success is subjective! My definition of success may be different than yours.
“Charisma is the transference of enthusiasm.”
And charisma isn't about always having the right thing to say at the right time, or being the life of the party. It's about being genuine and kind. It matters less what you say than how well you listen. I'm more appreciative of the people who are there when I need them, with a helping hand or listening ear, than I am of those who are always ready with a witty comment.
“People will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel.”
So stay on those good vibes and know you are a bad ass.
xx,
-w-
W A L K it O U T
“Walk as if you are kissing the earth with your feet.”
A few years ago, I read a health and fitness article which made a pretty bold claim: Walking is the best thing you can do for your body. It listed the following benefits you usually hear associated with walking: decreased blood pressure, increased circulation, improved blood pressure, decreased joint paint, elevated mood, etc.
Sure, all good things. But really? Walking is the best thing you can do for your body? Exaggeration much? Turns out..no. It's actually pretty dang incredible for you.
Get this: Walking is the NUMBER ONE form of exercise for which our bodies are designed. Say whaaaat. Not squats. Not crunches. Not running. WALKING. Walking is the most natural movement for us. Not only does it generate the aforementioned benefits, but studies keep finding more and more. Here are some more:
- Reduced body fat and body weight. (Turns out, it's truly effective at reducing belly fat. Hollaaaa!)
- Improved glycemic control, especially if you walk 30 minutes after eating
- Boosted memory and creativity - musts for me!
- In conjunction with the previous benefit, it sparks ideas and solutions. (My best ideas/solutions usually come when I'm out walking my dogs.)
- Increased lymphatic flow, which helps flush toxins from the body. (YES PLEASE!)
- Reduced pain (It's low impact and can even help offset joint pain and arthritis by keeping those muscles warm and limber)
- Improved sleep (particularly if you walk outside during the day, which helps regulate your circadian rhythms)
And if you really step to it and get moving, it can be an even BETTER workout than jogging! Once you near that threshold, it's actually easier to break into a jog than it is to maintain that brisk walking pace.
Some tips on amping up your walk:
- Incorporate weights: ankle weights, wrist weights, weighted vest, light dumbbells, or a baby :)
- Add in intervals: play around with varying inclines/speeds. Note: If you jack up the incline while on a treadmill, keep it hands free! If you cling to the sides of the treadmill, you're technically cheating.
- Take a hike! A hike is a fantastic way to squeeze in some extra booty work
Working out places stress on your body. This is a good thing, because your body's reaction to the stress is what makes it stronger and faster. However, if you're in a hyper-stressed state to begin with (mentally/physically), then this can do more harm than good. Especially if you OD on the the workout/don't let your body recover. Walking is an excellent movement option if you are:
- Wanting active recovery (especially if your muscles are sore!)
- Easing into exercise and don't want to jump into anything too strenuous
- Recovering from adrenal fatigue and need to mellow out for a bit while not losing your endurance
- Are needing stress relief
- Trying to fit both exercise and meditation into your day, yet keep falling short. Hello, moving meditation (it's a thing!)
Your walking pace, intensity, and length of time are completely up to you, depending on your individual goals/needs. A ten-minute walk 30 minutes after eating can be just as comparable as a 45-minute walk. When I walk my dogs, I turn on my tunes and zone out. It's my release time, my me time, my reflection time. I'm not trying to make a certain time or cover a certain distance - I'm there for the mental benefits.
So decide what you're in it for, and go for it!
Here are some helpful resources:
http://theshawnstevensonmodel.com/benefits-of-walking/
https://www.health.harvard.edu/staying-healthy/5-surprising-benefits-of-walking
https://www.nbcnews.com/better/health/why-walking-most-underrated-form-exercise-ncna797271
xx,
-w-
FREESTYLING
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
“Keep it simple. Keep it honest. Keep it real.”
With each post, I assign it a theme. A definite thought to write to and discuss. I aim for structure and cohesion. I have a growing list of topics I want to address, and each time I go to create a new post, I consult the list and decide which topic I'm vibing with at the moment, which topic speaks to me at the time, and most importantly...which topic I have the mental bandwidth for at the moment, because let's be honest - I'm usually trying to squeeze in a post at the end of a chaotic, work-filled day. Ya girl is SPENT. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like that!
There are countless concepts I want to write about, but not without taking the time and brainpower to do them justice. I try to ground my writings with supporting evidence and insights, to create as full of a picture as possible.
But you know what???
“Authenticity is magnetic.”
Sometimes that just feels too...structured. Intellectual. CONTRIVED. Sometimes I feel it prevents me from fully connecting with you. Letting you in on the wild thoughts running through my head on the daily. Don't get me wrong - every word I speak and write is absolutely, 100% genuine. I feel that shit in my SOUL, or else I don't write it (yes, even the style posts because #fashionfreak). But it has such a chilling effect on the nature and volume of what I write. I pour considerable amounts of time, thought, and energy into each post, and while I do feel that's important - I also feel it's important to sidestep structure every so often and break free. I've said it before and I'll say it again - BALANCE is the key to life.
So I've decided to sprinkle in more "freestyle" posts where I flip structure the finger, and just write off the cuff, so to speak (or should I say, so to write? That sounds awkward). Anyway, bottom line - prepare yoself for rambling posts where I let you in on my current thoughts, feelings, and inclinations. Because we're all humans, navigating this crazy world of ours and trying to make sense of what comes our way. And please - comments are welcomed, embraced, encouraged, invited, loved, cherished...even high fived!
xx,
-w-
K.I.S.S.
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
“Simplicity is the keynote of all true elegance.”
Lately, I'm all about dressing in neutrals/basic pieces. and either accessorizing minimally (with dainty jewelry, etc) or stepping it up with statement pieces (shoes, jewelry, bold lip, etc). Not only does this make packing for trips easier (SCORE!), but it also creates a more timeless, classic, polished look.
This isn't to say I don't enjoy indulging in the occasional trend (cowboy boots, I'm looking at you!). It just means I'm embracing the simple life. As they say, "Keep it simple, stupid." (K.I.S.S.) Okay, so that may actually refer to writing a paper/delivering a speech but...it can apply here too, so i'm appropriating it. Because I can. And replacing "stupid" with "sweetheart" because "stupid" is just R U D E. Right?! Awesome, knew you'd agree.
If you're liking the sound of simplicity here are some tips:
- Stock up on camisoles/tanks/tees in basic colors such as white, black, heather gray, nude, rust, olive green
- Think minimal! Don't overwhelm the look with excessive layers/accessories/etc. Keep it to one statement piece (e.g. funky shoes, bright lip, or even a fun hair style)
- The more simple the look, the more fit counts. Ensure flattering fits
xx,
-w-
DO IT TO IT
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
“Be stubborn about your goals and flexible about your methods.”
Have you ever had a task you know you need to do, but you just cannot find the motivation to do it? You have a chore to check off, or an errand to run, or a call to make, or a paper to write.
Or maybe it's not yourself you're trying to motivate - maybe you're trying to prompt someone else to do something. You're trying to encourage your kids to do their homework, or your husband to start a garden with you.
Wanna hear a cool motivational hack I found?
To give credit where credit's due, I'll start by saying I heard about this neato trick while listening to one of my fave podcasts: The Tim Ferriss Show. Tim was interviewing Daniel Pink, a New York Times and Wall Street Journal best-selling author about work, management, and behavioral science so...bro knows his stuff.
Here's how it works:
Let's say you're trying to talk yourself into getting your bunz off the couch and working out. Start by asking yourself: on a scale of 1 - 10, how motivated am I right now? Let's say you rate yourself at a solid 2. So you then ask yourself: Why am I not a 0? (Maybe a different direction than you thought it was going, right?) In response, some of the following reasons may come to mind: "I know exercise is good for me"; "I want to be healthy"; "I want to lose weight"; "I want to tone up"; "I want to be healthy for my kids"; "I'm training for a race and want to be ready."
Boom. You just articulated your own, autonomous, intrinsically motivated reasons for doing it. Not someone else's reasons. YOURS. It elicits and spotlights why you recognize it's something you ought to do. It can realign you to your initial motivation for committing to the goal.
The key here is whenever you're able to prompt yourself/others to articulate your/their reasons for doing something, you're/they're more likely to follow through.
Powerful, right?
In a later post, we'll discuss intrinsic (internal; originating within the person) vs. extrinsic (external) motivation.
Peace and blessings!
xx,
-w-
BEING KIND > BEING RIGHT
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography
Have you ever been talking with a group of people, and someone in the group starts spouting off a bunch of facts that aren'ttttt exactly true, and you feel compelled to set them straight? Or they start wildly embellishing a story, and you feel the urge to offer the, you know...TRUE version? Or maybe you're arguing with a friend, and they really messed up and dropped the friendship ball, and are getting defensive and combative when you call them out on it.
I don't know about you, but in situations like these, my hunger to be right is POWERFUL. They're wrong, and the world needs to know.
“I am practicing being kind instead of being right.”
The more I learn about life, the more I realize how inferior being right is to being KIND. Kindness trumps all. However, it should be noted: Kindness doesn't necessarily mean nodding agreeably when someone is spewing inaccuracies that could be harmful/hurtful to others/lead them astray in a significant way. But if your friend is regaling others with her tale of being up front at the Beyonce concert (when in reality she was sharing binoculars with you in the nosebleeds), what's the big deal? Does it hurt anyone? Why embarrass her in front of others, just to set the record straight?
“Not all truths need to be voiced”
What's more important is to focus on what's causing that person to act the way they're acting, and say the things they're saying. Why do they feel the need to bolster their credibility/image/etc? Are they feeling undervalued and depressed? Are they bumming about a rejection, in their personal or professional life? Are they insecure about their worth? Or in the example of them being a less than ideal friend, what led them to make that mistake?
“Open-minded people don’t care to be right. They care to understand. There’s never a right or wrong answer. Everything is about understanding.”
It can be really tough, but oh-so-more rewarding to check your ego and anger, and dig a little deeper. Dissolve your anger with kindness, compassion, and empathy. At least try to understand why they did what they did. If you do, it's actually a win win: It encourages a more peaceful and effective solution, which discourages repeat occurrences. If you can tease out the root of the problem, you can be the friend they need, and likely prevent it from re-manifesting (as suppressed, unresolved issues often do).
xx,
-w-
