where Y O U are
It can be all too easy to wish life away. To focus on what you’re lacking/wanting rather than on what you already have.
“Once I earn my degree, life will be easier and I can breathe a sigh of relief.”
“My life would be so much more meaningful if I had children.”
“My life can really start once I’m married/have a life partner.”
“When my finances are solid, then I can catch my breath and enjoy life.”
How about enjoying life on the way to those goals? How about focusing on what you do have instead of what you don’t? How about celebrating your current situation?
This seems to blow some people’s minds when I tell them, but I can genuinely say I have never minded being single. I have never been the girl who needs to be in a relationship. I would much rather do my own thing than be with someone I’m not 100% into. Yes, a major part of that is I’m independent AF, but I’m also perfectly happy in a relationship.
The trick is I focus on the benefits of each status.
For example, the bonuses of flying solo are:
Crushing hard on that tall beautiful stranger at the gym
Considering your options
Flirting shamelessly (with other single guys!)
Receiving those cute initial texts
Creating nicknames with your friends
Going on a first date and wondering where it’ll lead
Being selfish with your time and covers ;)
And on the other hand, the upsides to a committed relationship are:
“Fun stuff” (yep, that fun stuff)
Someone to share life with (to include but not limited to: major moments, inside jokes, challenges, adventures)
Instant “plus one” to weddings
Someone to dress up with on Halloween (we all know this is the real winner and should be at the top of the list)
Someone to SPOIL
Having “your person”
Same concept applies to other situations! For example, I can’t wait to have littles of my own someday, but until then, I’m soaking up the advantages of a current childless existence. For example, every time I take a nap whenever the hell I want, or sleep in, or take off on a spontaneous getaway, I think, “Couldn’t do this [easily] if I were a mama!” On the flip side, I can’t imagine the love you parents experience for your little ones, and the special moments you share.
The takeaway here is just being grateful for wherever you are in life, while working toward what you want.
Don’t settle! Don’t force anything! Don’t rush anything! Don’t wish your life away!
Sure, you may have moments where you feel less than awesome and just REALLY FRIGGIN’ WANT THAT promotion/degree/ring/bambino but if you spend the majority of your time focusing on the positives, then you’re golden.