living intuitively


Posts tagged true love
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Keep it simple. Keep it honest. Keep it real.

With each post, I assign it a theme. A definite thought to write to and discuss. I aim for structure and cohesion. I have a growing list of topics I want to address, and each time I go to create a new post, I consult the list and decide which topic I'm vibing with at the moment, which topic speaks to me at the time, and most importantly...which topic I have the mental bandwidth for at the moment, because let's be honest - I'm usually trying to squeeze in a post at the end of a chaotic, work-filled day. Ya girl is SPENT. I'm sure I'm not the only one who feels like that!

There are countless concepts I want to write about, but not without taking the time and brainpower to do them justice. I try to ground my writings with supporting evidence and insights, to create as full of a picture as possible. 

But you know what???

Authenticity is magnetic.

Sometimes that just feels too...structured. Intellectual. CONTRIVED. Sometimes I feel it prevents me from fully connecting with you. Letting you in on the wild thoughts running through my head on the daily. Don't get me wrong - every word I speak and write is absolutely, 100% genuine. I feel that shit in my SOUL, or else I don't write it (yes, even the style posts because #fashionfreak). But it has such a chilling effect on the nature and volume of what I write. I pour considerable amounts of time, thought, and energy into each post, and while I do feel that's important - I also feel it's important to sidestep structure every so often and break free. I've said it before and I'll say it again - BALANCE is the key to life. 

So I've decided to sprinkle in more "freestyle" posts where I flip structure the finger, and just write off the cuff, so to speak (or should I say, so to write? That sounds awkward). Anyway, bottom line - prepare yoself for rambling posts where I let you in on my current thoughts, feelings, and inclinations. Because we're all humans, navigating this crazy world of ours and trying to make sense of what comes our way. And please - comments are welcomed, embraced, encouraged, invited, loved, cherished...even high fived!



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H O N E S T . L O V E
Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Images by Brooke Richardson Photography

Befriend the man who is brutally honest, for honesty is the highest form of respect.
— Daniel Saint

One of the things I value most in my friends is their willingness to tell me like it is. They're never abrasive and intentionally brutal - but they love me enough to call me out when needed, and to sidestep the sugarcoating. That right there is true friendship. True honest love. 

Think about a time when you were hesitant to be completely honest with a friend for fear of hurting their feelings, making them feel worse, etc. As friends, we often feel compelled to show support. Solidarity. Multiple exclamations of "I gotchu, girl! You tell 'em!" High five them for letting their boss have it, praise them for sticking it to their spouse, applaud them for blowing off an obligation to go out with friends instead. Rationalize their decision for ditching their goal to do xyz. That's what friends are for, right?! W R O N G O.

Now it's time to be honest with yourself. Ready? Okay, here we go. Ask yourself: Why am I reluctant to be honest with my friend? Is it because I feel unsupportive if I don't confirm and validate their action/opinion? Is it possibly because...I am trying avoid the discomfort of telling them like it is? 

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The vulnerability that honesty requires isn’t something that everybody can handle. Lying allows people to be comfortable.

Chances's the latter. Of course, a small part of it is us truly not wanting to rub salt in the wound/make our friends feel bad/worse. But if we're being honest with ourselves - we just personally don't want to experience the uneasiness of acknowledging the truth. Right?! It's easier for everyone to just pretend like, "YES - lighting into that biotch for daring to look at your man was totally the right thing to do." "You go girl for quitting your third job this year - they clearly don't appreciate what a gem you are." "That guy is DEFINITELY into you. He's obvi scared by how much he likes you, so he's not texting." "Yes, you should absolutely buy those $200 jeans even though money's been tight - they look phenomenal on you!"

Being honest doesn’t get you a lot of friends but it’ll always get you the right ones.
— John Lennon

But if you're truly a good friend - you'll prioritize your friend's overall well-being over your present comfort. You'll sacrifice your comfort for their welfare. Ask yourself: What will serve them best long-term? Leveling with them and gently acknowledging their hurtful behavior (hurtful to you, to them, to others)? Kindly helping them face facts and address their issues? Guess what?! Doing so will help them significantly more in the long run, by helping them grow and evolve and escape their limiting thoughts/actions.

Once you've spoken your truth, offer support and love. Provide encouragement. It's not enough to just identify the issue - actually help them through it! If roles were reversed, wouldn't you rather have someone give it to you straight, instead of simply placating you? It might sting initially, but trust me - confronting the issue head on now stings a helluva lot less than if you were to avoid it and have it grow and sucker punch you later. 

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Be honest, brutally honest. That’s what’s going to maintain relationships.
— Lauryn Hill

Furthermore, when you're honest with someone, your praise and compliments will carry considerably more weight. They'll recognize your authenticity and know you mean what you say. 

Honesty has a beautiful and refreshing simplicity about it. No ulterior motives. No hidden meanings. An absence of hypocrisy, duplicity, political games, and verbal superficiality. As honesty and real integrity characterize our lives, there will be no need to manipulate others.
— Charles Swindoll

The truth is... I love you all.

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